For years, I only knew the preview trailers from other DVDs and always wanted to watch it. I wish I had kept it that way. The duo Jellinski and Buttgereit (Nekromantik) is responsible for this German amateur movie and I really wanna know what the hell they were thinking. I mean, Nekromantik is a cult movie, no doubt. There are millions of better and less boring movies, sure, but only few with a more controverse reputation. Nekromantik 2 is in my top 10 “most boring movies of all times”. Schramm – I don’t even know what charts I’d have to open for that. It’s the kind of movie you keep on watching because you hope it will make sense at some point. Well, it doesn’t.
We follow Lothar Schramm, a taxi driver, through his every day life. He seems to like running/marathons, rubber torsos, killing and cognac. And he has a crush on his professional neighbor Marianne. The rubber torso and the sounds her customers make are also a notable combination, you don’t need an AP to know what I’m saying here. Schramm also has badass hallucinations, resulting in not-so-badly-done rubber monster effects, mutilation fantasies and kinda senseless time jumps and flashbacks. Adding to this, the entire movie – around 66 minutes uncut – lives from the pictures; from extreme gore visuals to surreal dream sequences. In short – there are maybe 30 lines of text in total.
Its asked too much from me what the plot really is. There is a plot, but not really. Things that happen (the when, why and where aren’t defined) are: Schramm kills two people we all wanna kill. Jesus Army ringing your door to “talk about god if you have 15 minutes” and then trying to sell you a 65 bucks bible. Schramm gives his neighbor a ride to a strange job in a villa outside the town, waits in the taxi and brings her home. He goes for diner with her, later they have cognac in his place, he gives her sleeping pills and takes dirty pics of her in underwear. Schramm has millions of hallucinations, including several moments when he sees himself mutilated in some way (leg gone, teethy monster mouth in his forehead, castration, dentist pulls teeth and eyeball,…).
1. Dear special FX designers! If you show a real eye in close up right before a pull eyeball out scene, do me the favour and make the rubber eye the right color. Like in: actor has green eyes, why use a brown rubber eye?!
2. The one thing you wish when watching Schramm is: LESS nudity. Especially LESS FRONTAL MALE NUDITY. Or at least less gorilla-like body hair. Or an actor that is a tiny little bit attractive. Maybe no shapeless blob bodyshape. Maybe no Jean-Luc Picard memorial hairdo. Maybe simply ANYONE else.
3. There is only one scene that makes a guy scream harder than the syringe scene from Dellamorte Dellamore. And this scene is in Schramm, involves a hammer, nails, a table, and male restricted content. You get the idea.
4. A surreal dream sequence should never involve the devil or Jesus because it always looks silly. In Schramm, its Jesus.
5. If you wanna learn German and start easy, this is the movie for you. The subtitles cut the 30 lines (that don’t make much sense and add like nothing to the story) to maybe 15 lines and its really really easy to follow.
Would I recommend you to watch this movie? Yeah. If you have nothing to do. If you have no better movies. If you wanna know how Berlin looked in 1993. If you wanna see some real disgusting german food in a restaurant. If you are into overweight males with more bodyhair than King Kong, but way less hair on the head. If you wanna make your uninvited guests leave. If you wanna challenge yourself intellectually after 12 beers. If you can deal with a senseless visual drug trip in exchange for some real well done FX and the historic “I nail my own buddy to the table” scene. Then I do recommend it. If none of this applies… Well, watch something from Andreas Schnaas.