Frankly, one of the weaker Lovecraftian remakes. The cast and acting is nice, but I really can’t get over the effects in this one. Yes, it’s a TV movie, so I should be forgiving, so I’m not saying it’s total trash and unwatchable. It’s sort of entertaining, but still – the comical green glowing and the tentacles just stand out as awful. Also, I’m super lazy today, so I just leave it at that.
Famous Last Words: Not every movie needs a remake.
Just finished season 2 and remembered why it’s not a good thing to watch series that have only 2 seasons. But besides the cliffhanger, I have a few other things to rant about.
First of all, there’s Greg and how he doesn’t get the point of survival. He was introduced as the guy who was prepared best out of the group, and now he’s the one who tells Tom to fuck off/go away because he killed a man? Did Greg, by any chance, forget that this guy harrassed the group several times and was very unlikely to stop? After all, that guy belonged to the militia that also shot Greg, and whose political leader – Samantha Willis – shot a girl for stealing some food earlier. Dude, be glad he’s dead and won’t be a problem anymore!
Interesting enough, after Greg sends Tom away (specifically right after Tom saved Anya and Al, so Anya could save Greg, who was shot by a member of said militia…), the others don’t seem bothered at all by the revelation that Tom killed that guy. The only reason they stay is because Greg just came back from a near-lethal injury, but Anya asks Tom to stay and later, Najid does his job as outspoken kid and tells Greg that Tom makes a better leader and has the interest of the others in mind. Note that Greg wants to leave the city and abandon the search for Abby, while Tom wants to stay and encourages the others to keep searching for her because Abby would do the same for them. And this show is based on barely anything than “group must go after person x”.
Once Abby is back, she goes through a major annoyance downgrade. Even after learning the truth about Tom, she decides the group needs to stick together, regardless of their past crimes. She’s the first adult to realize that Tom does watch out for them and Anya buys into this, too. Al, Sarah and Najid never seemed really bothered by Tom’s criminal past to begin with. Just Greg keeps up his Grumpy Bear act, even after Tom does come back for him after Greg voted “guilty” against him earlier and cast him out of the group. Here, I need to wonder how forgiving Tom is supposed to be or if he really really just gives a shit what Greg thinks. At first, it could be justified by saying he swallows it for the sake of staying near Anya. But his later actions go far beyond watching out for her. He saves not only her, but also Al when he has a chance to easily abandon him and let him die. He comes back for Greg and the other slave workers in the mine. He frees the kids from the truck. He goes looking for Abby’s son. In other words, he acts like a picture book hero, if you ignore the fact that’s a convicted killer.
That’s by far not as bipolar as Anya gets. On one side, she does hook up with Tom. On the other side, she also despises nearly everything he does, if it involves him carrying a gun. Including carrying a gun without bullets. She has seen the militia, she has seen the slave camp. But she still thinks it’s wrong to carry any guns. That takes a special level of delusional thinking – and it is obvious to the others that they need to defend themselves. Abby goes as far as saying she would have killed that guy, too. That’s okay in Anya’s book, by the way.
By the end of season, most mysteries have been solved. Abby has her son back, a vaxine was developed, and the characters had all recieved a fair share of screen time and development. However, there are still open ends. Why Greg got a mystery post card and was likely on a list of people that were supposed to be saved before the virus hit. If his family is alive. What happened to Samantha Willis and her commune after Dexter was eliminated and she was in full control. What Tom planned when he sneaked into the Big Bad’s plane, heading for their secret base. If he survived the flight, being wounded. Where the rest of group went after not finding Tom on the airfield.
All in all, it was a very nice show to watch while it lasted and I think without the last scene – Tom hiding in the plane – it could even be accepted as a closed end. Too bad there wasn’t a third season to finish the chapter more satisfactory.
Usually I’m reluctant to watch anything with less than 3 seasons, unless it’s something recent and not cancelled. But the summer hiatus, and the notable lack of Walking Dead and Falling Skies drove me to seek more post apocalyptic entertainment. And so, I came across Survivors, which wiped out 90 % of the world’s population not with the aid of zombies or aliens, but a virus. Hooray for diversity.
First of all, the beginning does a great job to capture the atmosphere of a society in denial and the following breakdown of everything. What seems to be a semi-normal flu epidemic turns out to be an unstoppable killer virus and the British government lies and withholds information until it’s impossible to deny that, well, only 1 % of the population is still alive. We meet most of the main characters during these troubled times/days.
First, there’s Abby and frankly I was really glad she seemed to have died from the flu early on. She’s the bubbly soccer mom type who points out her worry about son Peter, 12, every time she opens her mouth. This never changes, and you might have guessed it: She doesn’t die and recovers from the flu to become one of the main protagonists.
Luckily, the rest of the group makes a better first impression and isn’t nearly as annoying.
Tom, for example, doesn’t really see how the world goes to shit. He still has 20 years in prison to go, for “killing some people and robbery”. When the dust settles, only he and one guard are still alive, and said guard decided Tom should still serve the rest of his sentence. And so he dies. Tom is a weird case, because he looks pretty similar to Tom Baldwin (The 4400) and obviously shares the first name. So I have a bit a hard time to see him as a “bad guy”. However, if you can look past that, you must congratulate the writers. I have rarely seen such a good portrayal of a sociopath. Tom isn’t a happy-go-lucky “kill them all” monster. He’s nice, charming and most of the time more than reasonable, but not without keeping you on the edge if he’ll snap and live out his sociopathic tendencies. He doesn’t “barely hide his tics” and doesn’t wear much of a mask around the others, and that’s what makes it so awesome. There isn’t a single moment he lets you forget that he has little regard for others, which can be especially creepy if he’s alone with the kid or one of the girls. But he also never gives off the impression that he might go completely crazy – or that he is surpressing any violent tendencies. He’s very controlled and it more seems like he knows exactly when he can safely unleash the beast within for a moment, and how to put it back in it’s cage. You may have guessed it – Tom is hands down my favorite character.
A close second is Anya, a young doctor. She’s pretty much done with everything and everyone and at first, she keeps her occupation a secret. She happened to save Tom’s life, but he keeps her secret. He probably has a crush on her in some way, but it’s such a subtle thing in the series, I’m not bothered by it. The dynamic of Tom being (borderline over)protective of her actually adds a lot to his creep factor.
Very creepy is a good way to describe Sarah. She was found early on in a supermarket distribution center, where she was more or less held prisoner by her pre-apocalypse obsessed stalker, the supermarket manager. He protected and provided for her in return for “that kind of favor”. And that clearly left a mark on Sarah. When her manager protector gets badly injured, she immediately dismisses him and tries to seduce Greg, who came to their aid. Dismissed by Greg – who seems semi-interested in Abby instead – Sarah tries to make a move on Tom – who is interested in Anya. Sarah is a picture book case of codependancy, probably even in clinical dimensions.
Speaking of Greg – he remains largely a mystery. He is the first person Abby runs into and appears to have some legit survival skills. He also has a plan and a car full of supplies, but alas, he lets Abby talk him into the whole group thing. I might have missed it, but as far as I remember, we don’t learn about his occupation before mankind became an endangered species. He becomes the daddy counterpart to Abby’s mom of the group act, but still has thoughts about trying his luck and solo the apocalypse at some point.
The most dynamic duo in the group, however, has Al and Najid. Al is a richie rich who lived the lifestyle of the rich and the famous (with his dad’s money) and hasn’t done a bit of real work in his life. He’s irresponsible and immature, but for some reason, he cares about Najid, a 13 years old faithful muslim boy. It is very refreshing to see a show where the religious character isn’t some bible quoting man/woman of god. Likewise for the team up with Al in a big brother kind of relationship instead of making Najid a morality pet for Tom. Najid is the more mature one, and Al seems to grow on this relationship, taking responsibility for the first time in his life.
There are a couple of minor characters that appear every now and then, like ex-minister of health Samantha, the last survivor of the government, who tries to rebuild society; a bunch of violent looters lead by a mean looking guy named Dexter and Sami, a scientist who works for the secret corporation behind the virus.
There is one thing that makes zero sense to me – the group meets the looter gang(s) very early. They see that these people are armed with guns and rifles and not afraid to use them. But it takes them about 5 episodes (of 6) to consider getting weapons for themselves. Before that, they don’t even keep knives or baseball bats around, despite being threatened and robbed several times. To be fair, Tom did have a gun – but surprise, surprise, it was actually stolen from him by the first people he met. So at least he should have considered getting a new weapon of some sort, if only to defend himself.
But that is a minor headscratcher. I can also overlook Abby being annoying – it is nowhere near unwatchable and the other characters get equal development and screen time. And that’s why I usually dislike watching things with less than 3 seasons – I like it, and it’s a pity there’s only one more season to watch.
The Attic Expeditions (2001)
This is more mystery and fantasy than horror, and in a good way. It is basically a story similar to the overhyped Shutter Island, but in a better setting, with a more surreal feel and well, Jeffrey Combs as a mad scientist, and that makes every movie a bit better.
The Wizard of Gore (2007 Remake)
For those who expect a rant about the blasphemy of remakes, this will be a disappointment. Jeffrey Combs AND Brad Dourif in a H.G. Lewis movie that includes a sideshow? It’s all I need to like a movie; no complaints at all.
Funny Games (1997)
I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Torture porn made in Germany? Oh well, at least I didn’t have to bother with bad snychronization…
The story. An upper class family – mother, father, son – arrive in their vacation lake house to do what upper class families do on vacation. Play golf, go sailing, meet other upper class families for dinner. Shortly after their arrival, two upper class young men show up, take the family hostage and play “funny games” with them, which obviously translates as torture and violence.
During the first hour, the movie really creates a strange and interesting atmosphere. The two men, calling each other Peter and Paul; Tom and Jerry; Beavis and Butthead, walk a narrow path between good manners and eloquence, and misanthropic sarcasm. They don’t give any reason for their deeds either – picture perfect psychopaths who simply enjoy the thrill.
However, after they kill the kid and leave the house, the movie takes some lengths and doesn’t manage to get the tension up again when they return. Of course, there are some unexpected and quite amusing scenes of breaking the fourth wall, but that alone is not enough to get back to the atmosphere of the beginning. A part of me waited for the turn from plain torture porn to rape’n’revenge, and that didn’t happen. Too bad, it wouldn’t have left this empty feeling of something missing.
Famous last words: Moderately funny, yet not the big joke I expected it to be.
Last House on the Left (remake)
Wes Craven’s infamous Last House on the Left from 1977 (if I recall correctly) was a bit a pioneer project; nearly every rape’n’revenge based movie that came later has references to this masterpiece of violent trash. Of course, compared to more recent movies like Saw or even Hostel, Last House on the Left is almost tame, obviously also a result of much better special fx. But this oldie but goldie is still a major reference for non-monster horror.
The story is probably known, if not, told quickly. Two teenagers wanna have a party, get kidnapped by a group of psychopaths, raped and killed; the psycho gang then accidentally has to seek shelter from a storm in the house of one victim’s parents. The parents realize who these people are and kill them.
Let’s compare 1977 to 2009:
1977: Two hippy girls wanna go to a concert on the birthday of one girl.
2009: Two teenage girls meet a guy in a drugstore and he offers them the best weed they ever had, so they follow him to a motel.
1977: The movie plays by day.
2009: The movie plays almost completely by night/in the dark.
1977: There’s a damn chainsaw!!!
2009: There’s no chainsaw. Boo!!!
1977: The kills aren’t all that quick, yet less spectacular.
2009: The kills are quite quick but some are quite original. (Doesn’t matter, it plays in the dark, so its just a guess anyways.)
The two girls (Mary and Page I think) are kidnapped from the motel from the father of Justin (weed kid), his brother Francis and girlfrriend (?). Trying to escape, they start a fight in the car, causing it to crash in a lonely forest, not far from Mary’s house. She’s a swimmer and her dad a surgeon. Yeah, that’s both important.
In said forest, Page tries to run first, but gets caught and brought back to the crashside. Justin’s dad tries to make him pick one of the girls to rape, but since his son refuses, he rapes Mary himself, after stabbing Page and letting her die. That’s one stab with a butterfly knife, ladies and gentlemen, that’s what I mean with “quick kills”. However, after that, Mary manages it to run, and she makes it to jump into the sea that borders to her parents’ house. As a professional swimmer, she almost makes it to reach the other side, but gets shot and seems to die at 2/3 of the way.
Now the thunderstorm and real bad rain starts, and the psychopath gang, with their car damaged, walks to the house where Mary’s parents have a romantic diner. They offer the gang shelter in their guest house and also treat the injuries (Francis has a broken nose from the crash). Justin acts strange all the time, and secretly leaves a bracelet or necklace he took from Mary in the kitchen, after seeing her photo on the fridge and realizing whose house it was.
During the night, the power generator gets stuck by lightning or something – from here on the entire movie plays in the dark and there is just a maximum of 3 candles to light a scene.
After the psychos went to the guest house, the parents hear a knocking on the porch, and when they go check what it is, they find their daughter more dead than alive outside. They take her in and treat her, and her mother finds the jewelry thingy Justin put in the kitchen. They now know who their guests are, and having no car (Mary used it when getting kidnapped) and no electricity/phone, they decide they have to do something for their own protection. And revenge.
While Mary’s dad (John I think) is searching for tools, Francis wakes up and comes over to main house to get a drink. He finds Mary’s mom (Emma I think) in the kitchen where she was getting knives. She can hide the knives in time and keep Francis distracted by flirting with him and claiming her husband is sleeping. Francis asks her to go to the hot tub with him, but on the way there he sees Mary in the living room and that she is alive. Before he can eliminate the witness, Emma stabs him with a kitchen knife from the back. They start to fight in the kitchen, until John shows up and helps his wife. Together they kill Francis in a probably quite original scene that I don’t get. They seem to put his head under water in the sink, but then he pulls the plug and the water flushes away. When the sink is almost empty, John uses a switch on the wall and yeah, that’s the part I don’t get. It appears to be the on switch for a mixer or something IN the sink. At least the water gets brownish-bloody, but WTF? Who the hell has a mixer blade in the sink? And yes, I’m sure it is a sink!
When Francis is finally dead, the parents sneak into the guest house and find Justin awake and with his father’s gun, sitting besides the bed where his dad and his girlfriend sleep. At this point, dialogues are temporarily suspended. There aren’t any for the next 15 – 20 minutes, and they play in the very dark, so I might miss certain details. If there were any. However, Justin hands John the gun, and when loading it, the click wakes the victims. John pushes Justin’s father out of the window – very silly scene, btw, because after the fall he gets right up and runs to the main house like nothing happened. John starts a fight with the girlfriend, losing the gun, leading to the bathroom. It ends with the girl getting a headshot by Emma and dying right next to the toilet.
Back in the main house, things get a bit chaotic in the dark. I think they involve John, Justin’ dad and several fireplace tools. It ends with John on the floor, about to get killed with a hook, but Justin appears with the gun and forces his father to stop. Stupid thing, the gun is out of ammunition, but luckily Emma is around with a fire distinguisher and attacks Justin’s dad before he can attack his son. John gets up and joins the battle and they leave the house in the morning. The finish seems to be the parents, Mary and Justin in a motorboat. I thought its a quite nice morbid happy end that they adopt Justin, kind of, after his father raped their daughter, the bloodbath and all. But actually, it isn’t the finish.
The finish is Justin’s dad waking up, asking why he can’t move. John tells him he is paralized from the neck down, and what he couldn’t paralize with medics, is duct taped to the floor. Then we see that the head is in a open microwave, which gets switched on by John. My question: What microwave can be switched on with the door open?! However, the rapist’s head explodes and that is the finish. I guess they need to hire someone else to do the director’s cut, because, well, this makes no sense at all.
Last Words: Na, save your time. Its not really worth to watch. Though the story gives some more details than the original, its not one of the better remakes. Not really.
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